Like many fans, music has always been more than just sound to me; it’s a language of emotions, a source of strength, and a way to connect with something bigger than myself. For years, I had considered getting a tattoo, a permanent mark to reflect something meaningful. It wasn’t until I discovered the band H.I.M. (His Infernal Majesty) and their unique sound that I knew exactly what I wanted: a Heartagram Tattoo. This symbol, a blend of a heart and a pentagram, perfectly encapsulates the band’s message – the beautiful and often painful duality of love, or as they call it, “love metal.” For me, getting a heartagram tattoo wasn’t just about inking my skin; it was about embodying the band’s powerful message and making a personal statement about my own life’s journey.
Heartagram tattoo on chest
To truly understand why the heartagram tattoo resonated so deeply, you need to understand H.I.M. and their philosophy. Originating from Finland, H.I.M., fronted by the iconic Ville Valo, carved out a unique space in the metal scene with their self-proclaimed “love metal” genre. This wasn’t just aggressive riffs and dark themes; it was a melodic exploration of love, loss, desire, and heartbreak, all wrapped in a gothic and romantic aesthetic. The heartagram, created by Ville Valo himself, became the visual representation of this genre – the heart symbolizing love and beauty intertwined with the pentagram, a symbol often associated with mystery and darkness. This duality spoke to me, reflecting my own experiences with life’s bittersweet symphony. I saw the heartagram as a symbol of life itself – beautiful and full of potential, yet often touched by pain and sadness, and sometimes feeling empty without love.
Deciding on the heartagram was the easy part; finding the right artist was next. Luckily, I knew Elliot, a friend who was a licensed tattoo artist running his own small business, Sidewalk Ink, from his garage. This felt more personal and comfortable than going to a big, intimidating shop. Elliot’s setup was professional, ensuring a safe and clean environment. He explained his pricing was based on size, detail, and time, and quoted me a very reasonable $20 – a steal compared to the $100 or more I might have paid at a professional tattoo parlor. This affordability, combined with trusting a friend, made the whole process feel less daunting for my first tattoo.
Before even touching my skin, Elliot meticulously prepared his equipment. He explained that he sterilizes everything thoroughly before and after each client, ensuring the highest hygiene standards. He used a homemade tattoo machine with a single needle. While a single needle machine can take longer and might be a bit more painful compared to multi-needle machines, I appreciated the care and precision. First, Elliot practiced drawing the heartagram to ensure he had it perfect. Then, using a special marker, he carefully drew the heartagram on my upper right chest. I checked the placement and design, and it was exactly what I envisioned. The anticipation started to build as Elliot prepped his equipment, the reality of getting permanently inked beginning to sink in.
Then came the moment of truth – the tattoo process itself. Lying down and trying to relax as instructed was easier said than done. As the needle began its work, the initial sensation was sharp and intense. It was a unique kind of pain, like rapid, repeated pinches in one spot. “This hurts!” was the only coherent thought in my head for the first while. Elliot had warned me it would take about an hour to an hour and a half, and those first minutes felt like an eternity. However, as time went on, something interesting happened. The pain, while still present, became more manageable. Whether it was my skin numbing or just my body adjusting, it dulled slightly, until Elliot moved to a new area of the design, and the sharp sensation would return. Enduring the discomfort was part of the process, a kind of personal trial by fire to earn this symbol that meant so much to me.
When Elliot finally said, “Finished,” it was a wave of relief and excitement. Getting up and seeing the heartagram in the mirror for the first time was surreal. There it was, permanently etched on my chest – a symbol I had chosen, a statement I was making. A feeling of liberation washed over me. It felt like breaking free from invisible constraints, the unspoken rules and expectations of society and even my own family. It was a quiet rebellion against the notion that your appearance dictates who you are, a rejection of the judgment that tattoos are only for “bad people.” In a world where appearances can lead to prejudice and misjudgment, my heartagram tattoo became a personal declaration of individuality.
The heartagram wasn’t just about rebellion, though. It was a deeply personal symbol of my connection to H.I.M.’s music and message. It represented the band that had been a soundtrack to my life, through both good times and bad. It was my love metal, a sentiment that resonated within me, regardless of anyone else’s opinions. Even Elliot, after the initial seriousness of the tattooing process, jokingly teased, “Hey Ray, you know that tattoo didn’t come out straight!” It was his way of testing my commitment, seeing if I truly valued the tattoo or would regret it under scrutiny. My response was firm: this tattoo was for me, a symbol of my life and my favorite band, and his opinion, or anyone else’s, ultimately didn’t matter.
However, there was one opinion I did anticipate and worry about: my mom’s. I knew she wouldn’t be thrilled. For a couple of days, I kept the tattoo hidden, but eventually, curiosity and motherly intuition prevailed. When she asked about my attempts to cover my chest, I knew the jig was up. Bracing myself, I revealed the heartagram. As expected, she “freaked.” The initial reaction was a barrage of familiar criticisms – tattoos are for criminals, drug dealers, and “bad people.” In a rare moment of defiance, I shouted, “Shut up!” The shock silenced her momentarily, giving me a chance to explain. I told her how much thought I had put into this, how much the symbol meant to me. I acknowledged her concerns but stood my ground, emphasizing that it was my body and my decision, and I wouldn’t regret it. While initially hurt and disappointed, my mom eventually, albeit grudgingly, accepted my tattoo. Her final word was a compromise: “OK fine, it’s done, but if you get another one you’re out of my house!” A small victory, and a testament to the generational gap in understanding body art.
Getting my heartagram tattoo was more than just a cosmetic procedure; it was a personal journey of self-discovery, fandom, and asserting my individuality. It’s a permanent reminder of the music that has shaped me and a symbol of embracing both the light and dark aspects of life. For anyone considering a tattoo, especially their first one, it’s important to consider not just the design, but the meaning behind it and the commitment you’re making. And remember to be aware of regulations and aftercare to ensure a safe and positive experience.
California Tattoo Regulations (as mentioned in the original source):
- Age: You must be 18 or older to get a tattoo, even with parental consent.
- Health Conditions: Tattoos cannot be done on areas with sunburn, rash, pimples, infection, or any unhealthy skin conditions.
- Intoxication: Getting a tattoo while drunk or high is prohibited.
- Sterilization and Hygiene: Tattoo artists must use sterilized equipment, keep it in sterile containers, and open it in front of the client. They must also wear new, clean disposable gloves for each client.
- Consent Form: Clients must sign a consent form acknowledging they understand tattoo aftercare.
- Artist Conduct: Tattoo artists are not allowed to eat, smoke, or drink while working.
- Aftercare Instructions: Clients should receive both verbal and written aftercare instructions, including responsibilities, possible side effects, restrictions, signs of infection, and instructions to seek medical help if needed.
Getting a heartagram tattoo was a significant moment for me, a permanent mark of personal meaning. It’s a reminder to stay true to myself, embrace my passions, and live life on my own terms, much like the rebellious spirit of “love metal” itself.
