It’s become increasingly common to see people getting memorial tattoos very soon after someone passes away. At recent funerals, I’ve noticed mourners sharing their new memorial tattoos with each other, often done in the immediate aftermath of the loss. This urge seems especially strong when a death is sudden and unexpected.
If you’re considering a memorial tattoo, especially right now in the midst of grief, I want to offer the same advice I give everyone: wait. It’s completely natural to want to react, to do something tangible when you’re overwhelmed by grief. However, getting a tattoo in this immediate emotional state can sometimes lead to a tattoo that commemorates the pain of the death, rather than celebrating the life of the person you’re remembering.
Instead of a lasting tribute to their beautiful life and the memories you shared, you might end up with a permanent reminder of your raw, present grief. Give yourself the gift of time. Wait. Allow yourself to reach a point where thinking of them brings forth the joy and beauty of your shared experiences. I usually recommend waiting at least a year. If, after that time, the idea of the tattoo still resonates with you, then proceed. This way, your tattoo will truly symbolize the bond and the beautiful times you shared, not just the pain and loss you’re experiencing now.
And when you do decide to get that tattoo, aim for something that genuinely reflects the person and their life. Think about what they loved, what you shared together, what always brings them to mind. It could be anything – a simple chocolate chip cookie, a blue jay, or even a game controller. The tattoo is deeply personal, for you. Including their name is perfectly fine, and dates can be added if you feel they’re important for your remembrance. But these aren’t always necessary. Avoid generic memorial imagery that doesn’t truly represent them. For instance, a cross with “In Loving Memory” might not be fitting if the person wasn’t particularly religious. However, if a cross or rosary holds personal significance for you or for them, then it becomes a meaningful choice.
Don’t rely on your tattoo artist to decide what symbolizes this person for you. That choice is yours and yours alone.
Memorial and tribute tattoos should be exactly that: a personal tribute to a life lived and the impact that person had on you. Don’t worry if others don’t immediately understand your tattoo. What truly matters is that the person you are memorializing would have understood and appreciated it.
